No, Our Friends Are Not Obliged To Support Our Business
Our business did not fail because of lack of support from our friends, and it's time we shift the blame where it is really due.
I’ve seen sentiments going around social media about being small business owners and not feeling supported by friends. Some expect their friends to purchase goods or avail of services they offer, while others are a bit more “lax” by expecting them to at least share social media posts or spread the word about their business. It’s typically associated with “tampo1”, a Filipino term that pertains to feeling hurt, offended, or upset but in a sulky manner.
But here’s the thing: I don’t think that’s fair at all. And this is coming from someone who has dipped into several business ventures, albeit on a smaller scale.
I get the desire of wanting all your family, relatives, and friends to be your first patrons or at least have them raving about your business. But the entitlement is misplaced when you expect anyone other than the people directly profiting off of your business to support you simply because you have a relationship with them.
Personally, when I took over Mossery Philippines, the first thing I did was message as many people as I could and request support through purchases, likes, or referrals. I did the same when I tried my luck in real estate and when prospecting in corporate sales—exhausting your personal networks is part of the process. However, a request is an ask, one which I’d be glad and appreciative of if they accept but would also harbor no ill feelings for if they’re neither willing nor able to grant.
You have to understand that everyone has their own lives, too. With their own responsibilities and commitments to fulfill. In this digital age where marketing is largely done on social media, some may argue that a simple like or shared post could suffice, but even those things can add up. When they accumulate, it can take a LOT of energy and could easily feel like a chore rather than a sincere gesture. I, for one, don’t want friends doing chores for me, especially without compensation. I value and respect their energy and time enough to not feel entitled to it in the name of friendship. They have the right to use up their free time and residual energy for rest, relaxation, and personal affairs. While they may willingly do things for me for free, it should never be out of obligation as a friend. It’s not a given for a friend to carry our own burdens and we should be more appreciative when they attempt to unload us of them because it’s not their duty in the first place.
I also advocate curating our own feeds—following only those that truly resonate with us and filtering out those that don’t seem helpful, relevant, or entertaining. I could connect to a person offline in ways I can’t with their online persona and understand it could be vice versa.
A sobering pill to take is the fact that what we may offer isn’t always for everyone, especially if it’s a niche brand. Not everyone is into stationery, for example. And fewer people see the value in a quality planner. What could be a more efficient use of our energy is figuring out and trying to reach our Ideal Customer Profile. Those that fall outside of it are likely to never find value in what we offer, to no lack or fault of our own.
Besides, it would be more fulfilling to hear from customers who genuinely love what we offer that they feel compelled to tell the world about it, without much prodding from our end. A business venture should be considered successful when it’s able to capture the market, rather than being constantly backed by the networks of the owner. If we fail to do so, maybe it’s time we reassess the strategies we employ or the market fit of the business instead of shifting blame to friends, to whom it is not due.
Have you ever had a friend demand support from you? Tell us all about it.
I will continue to patronize my friends’ endeavors as long as I have the resources—time, energy, attention, and finances—to do so, especially if it resonates with me. I don’t expect any thank-you’s though I would appreciate it, but I will certainly be offended with a “job well done.”
I think the concept of “tampo” is manipulative in nature and am more accepting of raw emotions like anger or disappointment, but that is for another day.